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January 26, 2022

How Thoughts Become Beliefs

By Barry Rudesill

Okay, I’ve had a lot of conversations recently that have been, at their core, pretty much about the same topic: Where do beliefs come from? And while we already discuss this topic in The Trek – and it’s on our list of “Scenic Overlooks” – I wanted to take a few moments today to open the conversation. To do this, though, we need to look at the attached image.

When we talk to prospective groups about using The Trek, we share this image with them. (It’s usually blank and we fill it out together, based on the needs of their group.)

First, we talk about behaviors. On top line we list the behaviors that they are trying to deal with. Depending on the group, this can be a short list – alcohol and drug dependency – or a long list – school administrators give us a TON of negative behaviors they would like to see corrected!

Next, we examine the thoughts that drive the behaviors, and we put them in the cloud bubble. Surprisingly, a large number of negative behaviors can originate from just a few negative thoughts. For example, in this case, if I think “Why bother?” I won’t try in school, I won’t try in relationships, I will give up easily, and it can even lead to thoughts of suicide.
Then, we track the thoughts down to the final layer: Beliefs. If I believe that “I am worthless!” it will drive my thoughts: “Why bother?” “Nobody care!” “Nothing I do is right!” “I will fail!” Just like with thoughts, one negative belief can drive a variety of negative thoughts.

Finally, we talk about the right side of the drawing and explain how if we can change the beliefs, we can change the thoughts. If the thoughts change, then the actions change. (That’s why we call The Trek “belief-modification” because our beliefs drive...everything!)

Hopefully that’s fairly simple to understand, right?

But where do those initial, negative beliefs come from? What makes me believe that “I am worthless!” in the first place? Well, that leads us to what we call the “Thought/Belief Cycle”. (It sounds WAY more impressive if you give it a snazzy name, right?) Simply put, it says this:

Our Beliefs drive our Thoughts, but our Thoughts create our Beliefs!

If I make a mistake and someone calls me “worthless”, I have two choices for how to proceed: (1) I can autopsy my “Choice”, choose to Reality Check the statement, acknowledge and Own my mistake, ask for forgiveness and do my best to make it right, and speak Truth to myself; or (2) I can focus on the definition I’ve been handed.

If I’m proactive and deal with the situation, I can protect myself from unhealthy thoughts, I can learn from my mistakes, and my relationship with others can be stronger through working to repair any damage I may have done. This is a healthy choice.

If I replay my mistake over and over in my head, if I feel the shame every time I tell myself I’m “worthless”, and if I continue to reinforce the idea, I burn a pathway in my brain and create a new Core Belief: “I = Worthless”. And once I burn in that belief, it changes my thoughts, and my thoughts change my behaviors. This is an unhealthy choice, and is often made simply because we don’t know any better!

Last time, we talked about the importance of journaling. This week, I would love to encourage you to take a look at the thoughts in your head, to write them down in your journal, and find out, based on your responses, if your thoughts are “healthy” or “unhealthy”.

By the way, if you DO find your thoughts are unhealthy, then you need to choose what you’re going to do about it! (Remember: NOT choosing is also a choice!)

If we can ever be of service, please let us know! In the meantime, we hope you enjoy your journey!

- The Trek

January 26, 2022

How Thoughts Become Beliefs

By Barry Rudesill

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